- Don’t let my drama become your trauma.
- My dog jumped up in the air to catch a ball but caught a bird instead. He looked at me as if to say, “What do I do now?”
- The Illiterati.
- I just killed a copperhead with my stiletto!
- Ambisextrous.
- No good story ever begins with a salad.
- Asstrophysics.
- Lifestyle creep.
- Pair o’dice lost.
- I think we should examine things through the lens of the North American marsupial and its intersectionality with wildlife rehab.
- Optical allusions.
- My situation was so bad that 911 was calling me!
- I’ve had more than one second chances.
- It’s like rearranging the furniture on the Titanic.
- “You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.” (Cormac McCarthy)
- Indickative.
- Maybe it’s not that the memory holds the feeling, but that the feeling holds the memory.
- I’m so old my vagina has to take a pill.
- Sanctimonious blues.
- Covid ate the part of our hearts that loved each other.
- My dog got a hankering tonight for Mexican food–the neighbor’s Chihuahua.
- It’s not fair? The fair comes once a year and that’s in October.
- They’re friendly over the fence.
- That guy’s gonna trade some cornbread for nirvana.
- Et one Brute?
- 2-B or not 2-B? Which is the apartment?
- Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your beers.
Rejected music group names:
- Sunny & Chair
- The Smothered Brothers
- Red Hot Chili Peckers
- Brooks & Dung
- Pink Freud
- Pixie Chicks
- Guns ‘n Posies
- Pootie and the Blowhards
- In Excess
- The Almond Brothers Band
- Raw Cooter
- The Kentucky Bedhunters
- Indigo Grills
- Jane’s Affliction
- Motley Crude
- Uncle Crackhead
- Pearl Jelly
- Modest Moose
- The Beadles
- Nine Inch Snails
- No Pout
- Saw Your Gown
- The Frying Burrito Brothers
- Tears for Beers
- U-Also
- Uriah’s Heap
- Whitesteak
- 10,000 Brainiacs
- Blackberry Toke
- Spleen Day
- Quarterback
- Philco
- The Black Peas
- Guns N’ Moses
Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Shamanic Life Coach, an ordained minister, a singer-songwriter, and an actor. So what? Randy may be reached at randallsweeks@gmail.com.
