Rise and shine! By this time your room should be set up, your classes scheduled, your roommate met. Your future looms vast and uncertain with boundless possibilities. High school memories, while fresh and warm and comfortable, will soon start to fade. You will always cherish and long for your best friends and first loves from high school. Fear not, there are best friends yet to be made and first loves to find again.
Back in my days as the dean, I searched for and collected devices that I might use in teaching a class, counseling a student or speaking to a large group. I used mnemonics or acronyms to help students capture and remember important lessons. Colloquialisms I found quite useful. I employed quotes from scholars and scoundrels alike to emphasize a point, admonish a wrong doer or quell an argument. All were useful and I hope effective.
The most helpful was the figure of a five-pointed star.
I consistently pointed out to students the value in considering themselves to be a star. One point of the star is academics, one social, one spiritual, one physical, and one cultural. When one consistently strives to balance each of these areas, the points of star stretch symmetrically from the center and when connected become a perfect circle.
Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, “To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don’t worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. Always do what you are afraid to do.”
So, freshmen, sharpen your points. Become a star.
Academics are the reason that you are here; go to class, prepare for class, control the events in your life, get to know your teachers, question everything, and learn, not only in the classroom, but outside in your journey through the day. Read books, go to lectures, dive into deeper and more meaningful conversations. Learn for the sake of learning, not for a letter grade. Always remember, wisdom trumps knowledge every day!
Sharpening your social point does not mean that you MUST go out every night, that you should try to break the Fireball shot record, that you should play video games until your eyes cross, or that you incessantly scroll through social media. Social is about people and how to relate to and how to treat them. It’s about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s about meeting people who are different than you and learning to value them. Social is learning about and respecting others’ customs and cultures. Speak to the loner on your resident hall floor that everyone else ignores. Do something good for someone else. Watch your manners and always write thank-you notes. Be kind to people. Heed the words of Maya Angelou, “’I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Gaining the “freshman fifteen” is certainly a concern for many college students, but sharpening your physical point goes well beyond dietary matters. Sure, watch what, how much, and when you eat. That’s important, but it’s also important to be active; walk to class when you can, go to the rec center, play an intramural or club sport, join a yoga group, find peace and pace on the Whirlpool trails. Make sure you get adequate sleep and maintain a rest routine. Naps are ok! Be assured that all physical relationships should be consensual and that you are prepared for the physical and emotional consequences of casual sex. If you choose to drink, let alcohol be a complement to your social life not the focus of it. Drugs kill, remember that. If you even think you have a substance issue, seek help.
You now live in a cultural mecca. Please don’t ignore it. Browse Square Books, go to Thacker Mountain Radio or a Ford Center performance, read Faulkner under the trees at Rowan Oak, go to the Center for the Study of Southern Culture, learn to write or paint or play an instrument. Study abroad if you have the chance. Go to India night or a cricket match. Expand your horizons.
And, lastly, but perhaps most importantly, fine tune your spiritual point. The paths to spiritual fulfillment are countless. If you’ve found yours, God blesses you. Find peace and joy in college knowing that whatever power you choose to call it is in control. As a freshman you will be constantly reminded that you are not in control. Give it over to a higher power. Seek spiritual guidance, read a holy book, go to a worship service. Some fear the quiet, but only when we are quiet can we hear God speaking to us. Find peace.
It is said that long after a star somewhere millions of miles distant in the universe explodes and ceases to exist, its light reaches the earth for eons even after it’s gone.
Go on now; become the star you are meant to be so that long after you have gone from this spot that ever calls, your light will continue to shine.
Hotty Toddy, The Dean
Thomas J. “Sparky” Reardon served the University of Mississippi as the Dean of Students from 2000 until 2014. Prior to that he served as coordinator of Pre-Admissions, assistant director of Student Activities, associate director of Student Services, and associate dean of students. Reardon received his BAE from Ole Miss in 1972 and his Ph.D. in 2000. He retired in 2014.