Last week I had the unique opportunity to have an interview with one of the most elusive characters associated with Christmas—Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I kid you not! My interviews have always been on The Balcony, but Rudolf was wary of being in such a public place so we met on the Whirlpool trails at midnight on Thanksgiving Day. Rudolph figured—and rightly so—that it would be very unlikely for humans other than I would be there and that, since deer sightings are common on the trails, he’d pretty much blend in. (Of course he had to put a Velcro cap with vents for breathing over his red nose for secrecy.)
I got to the trails a bit early and waited in the stillness of the night. Sure enough, exactly at midnight Rudolph flew in. I was nervous and dumbfounded. Rudolph, sensing my state of bewilderment tinged with fear, nuzzled up to me and spoke.
Hi, Randy. It’s good to see you again!
Again? We’ve never met before!
Not officially, but I’ve been coming to your house for sixty-eight years now.
Oh…I get it. You’ve been delivering gifts to me all my life.
Yep. I was leading the team that lit on your rooftops.
You were so quiet. I never knew you’d come and gone.
Yeah. We’re good at that. Trick of the trade.
Why are you here now?
I heard you wish that you could interview me. Santa decided to give you an early Christmas gift, so here I am!
Wow! This is beyond imagination!
Another trick of the trade. Now what do you want to ask me? I’ve only got a few minutes before I have to go back to the reindeer training camp.
Training camp?
Yeah. We have to stay in shape all year to be able to pull Christmas off.
Oh. I get it. Okay. I’ll get right to it. I read that you didn’t join up until 1939. How did you get picked to be on Santa’s reindeer team?
Well, it’s kinda like the NFL draft. We practice, we do our thing in small venues, then Santa decides who he needs to join the herd. We actually have a back-up team should we need them, but so far we’ve been good.
So you did tryouts for Santa.
Duh! If you were Santa wouldn’t you want to get the best reindeer for the job?
Of course. How did you get to be the team leader? I mean, all the other reindeer must have wanted to take the lead.
Perhaps. But Dasher had a pulled hamstring, Dancer had a sprained ankle, Prancer was always pirouetting, Vixen, well, Vixen was doing what vixens do. Comet was always running like a bat out of hell, Cupid was trying to get ahead of Vixen, Donner was obsessed with his wardrobe, and Blitzen was a bit of a problem. He was always making bags of crap (literally) to drop on the houses of all the naughty children.
Not ashes and switches and bowlegged britches?
Nope. That was all made-up cause Santa didn’t want that to be put in print. I guess now it will be. I hope I don’t catch hell for it!
Alright. I know our time is limited. What’s your favorite part of delivering gifts?
Good question. We don’t get to see people opening their gifts because by the time they all wake up we’re back at the North Pole eating hay. But we hear reports and they warm our hearts. You see, Randy, this season is not all about presents. The real Christmas is in your heart. It’s about family, friendships, belief, hope, and love. Most of all love. And not just Christmas. There are other celebrations like Hanukkah and Kwanza and a few others and at the center of all of these is the most important word in the human languages—love. Capeesh?
Capeesh, Rudolf.
Hey—from now on you can call me Rudy. All my friends do. Gotta go now and get back to training. Santa’s like a drill sergeant this time of year. It’s been nice talking with you.
Same here Rudy.
And with that he took off heading north. But as he was leaving he looked back and said,
Merry Christmas, Randy.
Merry Christmas, Rudy.
…and that’s the View from The Balcony.
Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified TeleMental Health Provider, Certified Shamanic Life Coach, ordained minister, singer-songwriter, actor, and writer. He always loved getting cap pistols and cowboy outfits for Christmas.
