By Kathy Brummett
When I lost my husband years ago, I had to start my journey through the stages of grief. I buried myself in work and got stuck in the grieving process. There was no community I felt like I belonged to anymore, and certainly no community where I felt truly comfortable expressing what I was going through. I was moving forward in life without my spouse by side, something only a person who experienced the same thing could have understood.
I still had a close circle of friends, but something had changed. I felt like I was being excluded by my married friends, although I know they didn’t mean to. Understandably, they became uncomfortable around me. They didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing, so it always felt like they were walking on eggshells during any conversation. There was a giant elephant that followed me around, but no one felt comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
I didn’t know then, but I needed a new community. I didn’t need to replace the friends I already had, but I needed to meet people who understood what I was going through. Having a group of people who had a similar experience to mine would have made me feel more comfortable to share what I was going through. I didn’t know then that what I really needed to do was talk about my grief and be surrounded by people who weren’t afraid to talk about it with me.
After several years and lots of healing, I want to help provide that community to people who have experienced the loss of a spouse. In partnership with Coleman Funeral Home and Patricia Lewis, I will be starting The Journey After, a gathering of people who understand what it means to experience loss.
The first meeting is set for Tuesday, November 12, at 10 am and will be held at Coleman Funeral Home of Oxford. During this first gathering, Patricia and I will share about our own journeys through grief, as well as lead an open discussion about navigating the holidays after a major loss.
Meeting people who have been in, or are currently in, the same place as you can help you understand what you are going through. It is our hope that this group offers support and encouragement as each member defines their own Journey After.
RSVP to The Journey After by emailing kbrummett@colemanfuneralhome.com or calling (662) 801-0225.
Kathy Brummett is family care coordinator at Coleman Funeral Home.
Photo courtesy of Coleman Funeral Home
