Okay, y’all. It’s time for another installment of “Notes in My Phone,” my chronicles of interesting things I’ve heard people say or have read. As always, I give no context to the notes with rare exception. You provide the context. Most names of those I’ve quoted have been omitted to protect the guilty.
Romance at Dollar General • I’ve been down that road myself. • My bowels are exactly where they’re supposed to be. • I am multi-dysfunctional. • You can’t run away from yourself. You go wherever you go. (Gunsmoke) • Unexpectedly erotic • Saved with an edge • My pronoun is “His highness, sir.” • The talking stick show • Coats are for shoplifting. • Put him in a corner but don’t put him in a box. • The bifurcation of conversation • “My attention span is shorter than a goldfish.” (Jerry Wexler) • I ain’t prayin’ for that. • Measure once, cuss twice. • “The beginning is easy. The hard part is the ending.” (Slim Pickens, How the West was Won) • “You’ve got to have a great mind and a tender heart.” (Andrew Young at Jimmy Carter’s funeral) • “Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length.” (Robert Frost) • Ugly don’t age. • I’m not in favor of much. • It’s worth staying alive just to see what I do. • “The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.” (Alfred Brendel) • Kindness is free. • I am a community-minded anarchist. • “The older you get the more questions you don’t have answers to.” (Chuck Conners as Lucas McCain in The Rifleman) • It might be black and white now, but eventually you’ll see in the gray—maybe even in color. • Bathtub conversations • Grief is seldom pretty. • I had a feeling I was not the only one. • I had a “you” moment. • Seeing the world through the bottom of a glass • What happens in one world echoes in another. • The tangential mind • I’m not a pizza. • I am the entity. • A lot can come up from shutting up and listening. • She was a bitch hound from the 18th dimension of hell. • It wasn’t fatal, but he ended up dying anyway. • I don’t normally drink, but when I do drink I don’t drink normally. • Nothing is permanent. Bad times and good times are the same in that both will pass. • Too close together and too far apart • There doesn’t always have to be a direction. Sometimes it’s good to ride in the mud. • He pubertied all over me. • The race to become humble • The heart is black. • The Universe is gonna kick me in the ass. • I am a f**king work of art. • Idiocracy • Stakes couldn’t be higher. Steaks couldn’t be higher either. • I’m going on a wig hunt. • Poll dancing • “Shootings are a fact of life.” (Vice President J. D. Vance) • I was designed to be loved. • It’s hard to feel good about anything when you’re drowning. • Braking news • Prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance. • The magic doesn’t just happen. (Coonie)
… and that’s the View from The Balcony
Randy Weeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Telemental Health Provider, Certified Shamanic Life Coach, ordained minister, singer-songwriter, actor, and writer. He is a lover of puns, oxymorons, paradoxes, alliteration, juxtapositions, metaphors, and the like.
