WTF News by Sherman Smithers
OXFORD, MISS. (WTF) – Though normally passionate in his defense of the natural rights and liberties bestowed upon every living soul, Max Vonwig, 29, was forced against his will to watch several episodes of the HBO television series Sex and the City on Sunday.
The economics graduate student quietly stared at the laptop screen while inwardly fret- ting over the thought of finishing the fourth season. Syla Clarevese, 27, lay next to him on the couch, explaining plot elements and commenting on Big’s ego. Their cat, Daisy, napped on the couple’s coffee table undisturbed.
As one particularly provocative scene featuring Samantha and her boss unfolded, Vonwig envisioned an Utopian existence liberated from the constraints of an omnipotent dictator lording over the general activities of the state. His conceptualization included a free society in which all persons were afforded the freedom of speech, regardless of their opinion. Thoughts such as if Charlotte worries too much about getting married would be limited from harsh retribution from girl- friends whom otherwise consider Charlotte’s concerns “warranted.”
Vonwig’s society would emphasize the value of individual rights along with property rights, including laptop computers that clearly belong to Vonwig.
“Can we please turn this off? This is degrading. I think C-SPAN is covering a Cato Institute presentation,” Vonwig finally asked.
“Shut up,” the omnipotent dictator Clarevese said.
At press time, Vonwig was genuinely concerned about Miranda’s pregnancy. 
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This article was originally printed in The Local Voice #140 (published September 22, 2011).
